you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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