just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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