The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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