just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
