That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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