dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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