Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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