I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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