Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
