he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
They took my balls.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
