how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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