I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Rumble strips road head = magical
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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