Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
