He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
