I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
