it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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