in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
