i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
