so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He passed out mid-signature
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
