they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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