i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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