I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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