dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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