Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
