She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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