I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
