so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
