That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize