my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
