I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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