I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize