she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
