The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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