I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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