I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
