I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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