Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize