Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
