It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
