Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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