I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
