You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
