I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
