Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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