well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
