dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
