Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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