Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize