Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
