Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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