The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize