Sry I called you an 8
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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