Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
