My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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