I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize