Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
