I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
