Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
