I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
