she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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