Porn is love you can see.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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