I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
