when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
