So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
