That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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