One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
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