bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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