I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There r osticjed everywhere
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
