I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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